Dealing with stress

The last 2 days have been extremely stressful. And I think it hit me harder this time because 1, I haven't been letting things in life stress me out as much since September and 2, I haven't had too many stressful things happening consistently. I've had a stroke of luck, more of less, and got use to it. Then Medicare and Medicaid wanted me to really get "hood" on them. I didn't curse anyone out, but I did tell them, quite eloquently, to fuck off and stop screwing with my insurance. AND to get their shit in gear. Luckily, I didn't have a second cup of coffee because I had a feeling that if I did, I'd pay them a visit and they wouldn't like that. Today I had an interesting talk with my roommate about it. It's as if they hire these asshats on purpose. People who not only don't know how to do their jobs, but that don't even like to do their jobs. How do they even find these people? The same with the people who work at Access A Ride. Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of nice people at AAR and in those gov't jobs, but most of the people I've had to deal with have been nothing but difficult. I've said this a million times and I'll say it again, IF I DIDN'T NEED THE HELP, I WOULDN'T FUCKING ASK FOR IT. Period. My family had to beg me to actually apply for any of this stuff. Because I wanted to work. I wanted to be useful in my community. I wanted to help people. I had to be on my death bed and paralyzed from the neck down to actually do it. Because I had zero choices in the matter. And I still want to do all those things. It's not like anyone who sees me doesn't see that I need the help. At least for now, and as long as I'm learning how to get mobile again. I don't think they understand that sometimes. That some people aren't actually trying to milk the system. So I've learned to be more mindful with my stress. Every time I've gotten sick, it's been when I've been extremely stressed out. I let it dictate my life. Today was a reminder that I need to be vigilant about it. I can't get sucked back into that. So tonight I'll meditate and reflect on it. I'm sure the MJ won't hurt either. ;)