Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Being intimate, while being disabled (or being WITH someone disabled)

OK folks. So because I had a stressful morning, I figured I'd keep it light and talk about something fun today: Sex! Or rather, being intimate, because you can be intimate, without having sex, and still have fun. Now, by no means am I an expert on sex, being intimate or doing it while being disabled, BUT I can share my experiences and hopefully it'll help you on your journey to physical intimacy. As I said on my video, I've been intimate since I lost my legs (on a side note, unrelated of course, every time I say "lost" my legs, I feel like its a funny way to describe what happened, but I suppose it's better than say "since I got my legs hacked off....", but I DIGRESS), I've been intimate twice. And although it was more laughing than sexing it up (because of how to move around and get it to work) I still got it to work. Now that I think back on it, it was even more fun with the laughter, even if that wasn't the initial intention in the first place. Before I "lost" my legs, I still had to deal with my mobility because of my leg braces. And while I still had my legs, even though they were useless, I made it work. Not like I got much then either. But a little was better than nothing. Now, even though I have gotten some, I know there's still more to go. Especially because I doubt I'll have my kids through immaculate conception. And it doesn't have to be boring either. It can be fun. Intimacy is about getting close to someone, sharing your bodies, sharing your passion, but it doesn't have to be so serious all the time. AND I think if you can laugh at yourself, while attempting to do it, you might as well have a good time with it. Sex isn't only about making babies. Otherwise, it wouldn't feel so good when you're doing it. (FYI: I'm laughing while writing all this because, even though I'm a sexual creature, actually talking about it in public makes me giggle.) For my disabled folks: Whether you are an amputee, have physical issues, pain etc, don't be afraid to try different things. You never know what positions will work for you. Even without my knee, I can balance on the one. AND you don't have to just lay on your back and take it. Try anything once. You never know what will work. For my amps: maybe even keeping your legs on to make it easier, if that makes it easier, would work. I haven't yet, but I'm sure eventually I will. Lately, I've wondered how sex on a shower chair would be. I've been in the shower, years ago, but not recently. Shower chairs aren't really built for 2, unless you're on their lap. Or someone is standing. If it's 2 amps, that might be dangerous. Unless you have a shower leg. Just remember, water is a blessing and a curse. For able bodied folks: if we like you enough to get naked with you, and we are actually willing to get all sexified with you, be opened to trying different things with us. We are just as sexual as you are. And considering we may not do it all the time, we are probably wound up like a rubber band being pulled and pulled. Eventually we will pop. :) In a good way, of course. If you are strong and can lift someone, u against a wall or even on top holding them up...always a plus. Just remember to have fun. Like I've said, sex isn't only about making babies. It's about enjoying each others bodies. Sex, doing it, fucking, screwing, making love. Whatever you want to call it. And don't worry, this isn't the last you'll hear from me about the topic. Promise! Oh and I do write erotica from time to time, in case you want some ideas. Juuuust saying.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, for ME, when I have sex, and I'm on top, I can go for about 10-15 minutes before my hips completely lock up and every muscle in my body seizes up. Missionary (with some leg up, legs this way, arms this way, etc of course...regular missionary is boring) I can go for quite a while...doggy, I can also go for a lil bit before my knees lock up on me, but THEN I can usually anticipate it. Fibromyalgia is no joke. It's real...it just hasn't been quite figured out yet by the medical community. There are plenty of things I can do, but only for so long. It actually puts guys off when I say "I'm sorry, I have to stop" and when they're insistent, I'm like "ohhhh okay" cause yes, it feels good. HOWEVER....it still puts them off. They either feel that they weren't doing it right and I'm using my "fake disorder" to make them stop being so bad at it, or they blame their Size, or they act as if I'm a "cripple" and they don't want to touch me again for fear of hurting me. It's very hard to find a partner that understands that I'm actually in a great deal of pain and it is hard to enjoy sex when you are in SO MUCH PAIN and discomfort. The only one I've found that understood completely....well, turns out he was cheating on his woman. Pfft. Men. Anyway, I understand. And yes, a guy who can hold me up and help me do the work is GREAT!!! It takes a lot of the pressure off of my hips and back and I can go for MUCH longer. I like to talk about sex, btw, it doesn't make me giggle, it makes me want to talk more.