Interesting Drug

I find it interesting how some people can gain your trust, your love, your loyalty, your commitment and then turn their back on you once you've been won over. Once you've been convinced. Once you've given in to their request to know what your insides feel like against their brain.

I'm realizing the hard way, the older I get, that it may not be worth it to allow that to happen. But is that fair to everyone else who comes into my life after such betrayal? They may be trustworthy. They may be good inside and not malicious or manipulative or so full of vanity. They might be. Then again, everyone seems perfect in the beginning. Too good to be true. And then they show you what's really inside. We all, everyone, has that. Just to different degrees and just shown in different ways. And just because someone isn't perfect, doesn't mean they have maliciousness inside either. That's what being human is.... imperfection. 

I just feel once again like a stupid fool of a girl. Yet, I'm much older. A woman. Shouldn't be so foolish. So stupid. So believing. But love. Love will make you do these things. Love is, in the wrong hands, the root of all evil. If not for one person "loving" another, many issues wouldn't even exist.... Then again, those kinds of "love" aren't real love... aren't the actual meaning of love... Aren't what love is supposed to be.

SO Love isn't evil. It's many faces are. Its obsession, its lies, its greed, its jealousy.... those are the parts, those are the fake faces, the false prophets of love... 

And those are what got me. Those and much more.... A pretty face, sweet words, got me....

And I fell for it. Stupid girl moves aren't supposed to be for grown women who should know better. Ha! Key word. Should! I guess we all can be foolish. All of us. And give in to something that feels good, but isn't necessarily good for us. Especially when we're hard to get. And that pretty face with the sweet words (which you would have NEVER in the past listened to) sounds so tempting and just one taste, one touch will never sate your appetite; never. And they'll let you keep coming back and back and back again. Until you've been conquered. Until you, the hard to get, has been gotten and there is no more left to get. And you are left defeated and used and alone.

I've learned my lesson. Best believe the stupid foolish girl has been washed away with tears of past. No more of that. Grown women know better. Yes, yes, we do.