Feeling just as fat as they think I am

I'm trying to ignore the weight gain but it's hard to ignore when it's been so much. 

I write in my journal usually handwritten and I forget about the blog. I shouldn't. 

Considering I put everything on FB, might as well post here too. Let's hope I remember to do it. 

This nursing home rehab place is fucking with me. Little do they know is that I'll fuck them back. Much harder. 

Anyway, I've never been an over-eater. I've never had any issue with food. I would always eat lots of sweets but never to the point that I gained crazy weight. I work out super hard all the time but the fact that I can't get up and work out the way I want to I'm gaining weight. 

Well fuuuuuuuck that. 

I've got to do something about it. 

It's really getting me down which makes me want to snack more. I don't have healthy snacks so it's bread or whatever. 

I just feel shitty about it, I'm getting slower, and I feel badly about it. I already feel bad about my lack of legs but this makes me feel worse. 

It's really getting to me. :/

In other stuff, I'm trying to get it together with my legs and learning to walk. It's harder than it looks.  Relearning to bend a knee is super hard. I did my best. And I do my best. My best isn't good enough. It's all I can do though. 

I'll be doing what I can. 

Anyway, I'm gonna finish watching Penny Dreadful and then try to do some writing. 

Until later

E

    Over a year ago, before I lost my legs