i just woke from a dream where my lupus was getting out of control again. and i traveled around trying to do things about it but it wouldn't help. so i started faking again, that i was well. and then i finally told my family how serious it gotten. they were different ppl than they really are. and they were so hell bent on me going to a lupus clinic that was better. and they felt so responsible for the way i was, as if my lupus was their fault.
these self-fulfilling prophesies, violently waking inside of me.
how sad that even in my head, my lupus is killing me off. (i dunno y the name dr. kessler keeps jumping at me) anyway, im gona try to go bck to sleep.
