I couldn't help it. It was like I had lighting and thunder rolling through me, forcing me to push the storm out of my body.And the other night, a knock down, drag out fight raged inside of me. Storming my emotions to and fro, like a tree in between the raging winds and rain. I felt it. You can see it. It's been brewing for a long time and I finally had something else happen to add the last straw that broke me into submission.
I'm getting bck to myself though. I'm not as distraught as i was the other day.
Anyway, here it is.
As Cat power says, I never meant to be the camel that broke your back.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sometimes the world IS crashing down around you
There's always a small possibility (or a large one) that one or more aspects of your life is tumbling, full speed, down a hill.
Shit happens sometimes. What can you do?
I was watching this show Parenting and one of the characters, a dad, found out that his 15 yr old daughter was dating this guy that he didn't know about. (SIDE NOTE: The thing about these shows is that every time I watch them I sort of wish I had that because they're semi-large families, always there for each other, have get-together dinners and stuff and although they aren't perfect, they are supportive and there.) And when I watched them argue and then watched a later scene when the mom came and talked to the daughter about the dad and how he loved her and just didn't want to lose his daughter and wanted to know who this guy was and how the arguing from a dad and rebellion and dating from the daughter is normal and everyone goes through, i remembered my dad and the time he came by my moms house when i was 14 and hanging out with this boy, talking and standing a little to close and how they had a scary look into eachothers eyes like men match and i had to tell the boy to chill out and leave because my dad was going to flip out. And he did and i did and later my mom came and had a talk with me, about how my dad loves me and doesn't want to see me with boys...and also how i was too young and who was he and how did i know him and, etc etc etc.
the point is, is that that is what happens. teenagers piss off their parents and vice versa. technically its the changes in teenage hormones that make them prone to outrageous behavior. and some ppl grow into more mature responsible ppl and others get a rush out of taking risks and keep on it until something or someone convinces them otherwise.
In any event, the "shit" that happens that I was talking about was lifes shit. Lifes giant dump that happens to land in one stinking pile on your head. And the stench? Takes forever to come out because thats part of the lesson.
Sometimes the world is crashing down around you...and sometimes it turns out to be ok...it just takes time to be ok, is all.
anyway, video time.
until tomorrow, which is actually today,
e
PS: I was REALLY sleepy when I made the video. And since its just about 4am, I might be sleepy in the next video too...eh well.
Shit happens sometimes. What can you do?
I was watching this show Parenting and one of the characters, a dad, found out that his 15 yr old daughter was dating this guy that he didn't know about. (SIDE NOTE: The thing about these shows is that every time I watch them I sort of wish I had that because they're semi-large families, always there for each other, have get-together dinners and stuff and although they aren't perfect, they are supportive and there.) And when I watched them argue and then watched a later scene when the mom came and talked to the daughter about the dad and how he loved her and just didn't want to lose his daughter and wanted to know who this guy was and how the arguing from a dad and rebellion and dating from the daughter is normal and everyone goes through, i remembered my dad and the time he came by my moms house when i was 14 and hanging out with this boy, talking and standing a little to close and how they had a scary look into eachothers eyes like men match and i had to tell the boy to chill out and leave because my dad was going to flip out. And he did and i did and later my mom came and had a talk with me, about how my dad loves me and doesn't want to see me with boys...and also how i was too young and who was he and how did i know him and, etc etc etc.
the point is, is that that is what happens. teenagers piss off their parents and vice versa. technically its the changes in teenage hormones that make them prone to outrageous behavior. and some ppl grow into more mature responsible ppl and others get a rush out of taking risks and keep on it until something or someone convinces them otherwise.
In any event, the "shit" that happens that I was talking about was lifes shit. Lifes giant dump that happens to land in one stinking pile on your head. And the stench? Takes forever to come out because thats part of the lesson.
Sometimes the world is crashing down around you...and sometimes it turns out to be ok...it just takes time to be ok, is all.
anyway, video time.
until tomorrow, which is actually today,
e
PS: I was REALLY sleepy when I made the video. And since its just about 4am, I might be sleepy in the next video too...eh well.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Fake, lying pieces of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything has once again, fallen apart. My insides are slowly melting into puddles of gooey.
I am so sick n fucking tired of ppl yelling at me giving me their fucking attitudes about things I have no control over. Because they want to be surrounded by Yes Men. Fuck that noise! I'm nobodys fuckin puppet. If ur wrong ur going to hear my mouth. Why should u be the only one mouthing off. U pop off. I'm gonna pop off. Simple. I got a lot more patient and calm ovr the years but the last several months of being sick, almost dying twice, dealing with ignorant idiots who think they kno everything but actually kno nothing. I'm sick of all the fake fucking ppl. Everywhere! Soooo fake. I'm real all the time and that's what they can't deal with. Whatever. Anyway, I'm to get togethr for my fake OT.
Enough said. For now, at least.
eman
I am so sick n fucking tired of ppl yelling at me giving me their fucking attitudes about things I have no control over. Because they want to be surrounded by Yes Men. Fuck that noise! I'm nobodys fuckin puppet. If ur wrong ur going to hear my mouth. Why should u be the only one mouthing off. U pop off. I'm gonna pop off. Simple. I got a lot more patient and calm ovr the years but the last several months of being sick, almost dying twice, dealing with ignorant idiots who think they kno everything but actually kno nothing. I'm sick of all the fake fucking ppl. Everywhere! Soooo fake. I'm real all the time and that's what they can't deal with. Whatever. Anyway, I'm to get togethr for my fake OT.
Enough said. For now, at least.
eman
Friday, March 19, 2010
Eman 2.0: Ready for duty!
I made my first video tonight. The first video in a very very long time.
I hope it works out. I dont want any disasters to happen like the last time I was making videos. I guess omission is just as bad, if not worse than lying sometimes.
My 2nd video of the week
AND the 3rd video of the week
I guess the videos can speak for themselves right now. I want to write about it, but I dont feel like getting emotional, so I'll leave it at that for now. At least there are videos.
Until the next installment.
E
I hope it works out. I dont want any disasters to happen like the last time I was making videos. I guess omission is just as bad, if not worse than lying sometimes.
My 2nd video of the week
AND the 3rd video of the week
I guess the videos can speak for themselves right now. I want to write about it, but I dont feel like getting emotional, so I'll leave it at that for now. At least there are videos.
Until the next installment.
E
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